I’m traveling back to Arkansas from Lion’s Bay right now… & will turn around and move to Cancún as soon as I pack up & sign over my current lease. It’s a time of massive changes, embracing who I am really am & choosing what my heart desires.
The past month living with Human Garage has been incredible & I wanted to share some of it with everyone:
I went through a massive detox (still am…) I’ve had gunk coming out of my skin, under my nails, and around my eyes. It makes me a little self conscious to be visibly purging. But, I’m very grateful that my body is getting toxins out (I just hope my skin clears up soon.. lol.)
I continued to eat organically and take the HG supplements, but started drinking hydrolyzed water which made a big difference (alkaviva machine!)
The energy of the house was also a factor in the detox. When I first arrived I was on edge for days. The house has a very high frequency, & what I believe happened is that everything going on in my body & spirit that was not a match to the vibration of my environment was being exposed and brought to the surface. After nearly two weeks in is when I started to feel secure & comfortable! That’s also when I started seeing the physical expressions of detox most strongly.
I feel called to fast to assist my body with its detox, so for the next 72 hours- no food for me… I’ve never done this before and am excited to see how it affects me.
I had some of the darkest emotions come to the surface. Historically, I have acted drastically to try and manage these feelings, but I knew I was in a safe environment and instead allowed myself to feel. I did isolate at first because everyone in the house is highly attuned to energy, and I knew they could feel exactly what I was going through. In the beginning that made me really uncomfortable because concealing feelings has been a huge habit of mine in the past.
I was shown so much love & patience that I realized I needed to try and work through my urge to isolate. I stopped retreating during dark episodes and found after days/ a few weeks that those feelings were subsiding & my connection to everyone felt more real.
I’ve known for a while that healing happens in community, but finally allowing myself to practice that was the embodiment I was missing.
I feel less shame over being seen, and less shame for having flaws. Intimacy isn’t as scary as it used to be.
I enjoyed living in community SO much! It was honestly the best experience of my life. It’s fulfilling to live, work, and just BE in a place where everyone practices radical authenticity, honesty, communication, love and cooperation. It was the first time in my life I was living with “my people.”
I have grown so much by observing the way the HG family communicates with one another. We put all of our emotions on the table even if they’re not pretty and then talk about it, always prioritizing honoring one another & finding the “feels good” solution. I strengthened my relationship with my boyfriend too and got to know him and love him in a deeper way.
I also have found the style of work that feels best to me. Everyone being encouraged to pursue what gives them pleasure & work at the right time for them was magical. It’s the first role I’ve had where I can actually get into flow state.
I had a big realization a couple nights ago too: the next step for me is embracing pleasure.
I have focused so much on managing pain because that’s what I needed. Now I want to focus just as hard on cultivating pleasure in my life. It’s going to be a work in progress (like everything else) but I am ready to let go of the shame I have carried around seeking and experiencing pleasure (and the related shame of being seen feeling pleasure!) Whether I want to sing or dance or talk, I’m ready to drop the shame attached to it and FEEL GOOD!!!
Love & gratitude to Human Garage and the people that make it real.